Pregnancy Update | Second Trimester

I’ve just passed over into the final stage of pregnancy, so it’s time to recap my second trimester!

It’s gonna be a quick post! For the most part, it has been far easier than the rest of either of my pregnancies. I finally get it when women say they like being pregnant, because I’ve felt that way lately! That said, I’ve dealt with some bumps in the road and at times, they were either emotionally or physically painful.

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Perinatal Depression I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - I’m a women prone to depression, especially when there are big hormonal changes in my body. I’ve had about half a dozen days of tears and wanting to stay in bed feeling really really bad about myself and the world around me. I won’t diminish it and say that everyone feels that way sometimes, because when you’re in that place, it’s like a living hell that feels very real. I wrote a little bit about it here while I was getting through it. 

I’ve also been able to see a connection between stress and sleep deprivation with mood changes, so together with my husband, we’ve been working to make sure to minimize both of those. I’ve decided not to use medication while pregnant, but will re-evaluate after birth. To be the best mom (woman/human being/etc), I need to take care of myself not only physically, but emotionally. Luckily it’s been just days (not weeks), but if it had been, I was prepared to seek additional treatment (as I would urge anyone to do if they have feelings of depression or anxiety. You are not alone!)

SPD (or Symphysis Pubic Disfunction) Sounds bad, huh? Basically, it’s a side effect of the relaxin in your body loosening your pelvis to prepare for birth. Here’s a better description. 

In hindsight, I realize I had this to the extreme with Felix (I could barely walk!) but this time around it’s been a lot less severe. Usually if I sleep wrong or have been on a long walk or sitting weird it flares up. Or when I’m balancing on one leg while getting dressed. I do some stretches to help out and the pain is less than a 1, so I’m just dealing with it! 

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That’s really it! I have some mild insomnia and am getting winded during light physical exercise, but that’s to be expected! This baby is incredibly active so the movement has been equally exciting and overwhelming at times. She’s doing jazz hands and high kicks in there all at once! It’s a nice outward signal that things are going well and reminds me what kind of crazy miracle is happening inside my own body. THERE ARE TWO HEARTS BEATING INSIDE ME! Isn’t that wild? 

All in all, things are great. We’re excited to meet our little girl and start life as a family of four. Speaking of, we anticipate a bit of jealousy with the new arrival, but we’ve been preparing Felix in little ways. He was so gentle and patient with his younger cousin last week and that made us all more confident in the transition. I showed him some of his own baby pictures yesterday and he pointed to the screen and asked me “baby sister?” This mama’s heart = melted. Only ten and a half weeks to go! 

You Might Also Like… my First Trimester Recap here.

La Vie en Rose | It’s a Girl!

I’m so excited to share some fun news with you! Our growing family is excited to announce we have a baby girl on the way! We are thrilled! This pregnancy has been so different from my first so I had a hunch we’d be adding a daughter to our crew. I even started a baby quilt for her room a few weeks before I knew for sure!

We’ve had a name picked out since before our first was born, so now we just need to narrow down a middle name. Knowing her gender has done a lot for me and pregnancy bonding and it’s so fun to say ‘she’ and to prep Felix for his little sister. Last night in his sleep he reached over to my stomach and said BABY! We’re expecting some adjustments, but also really looking forward to all of the sweet and wonderful little things that come with a new baby.

For those of you who’ve asked, the dress is from ASOS, Adam took the photos this morning at the park, and the bouquet was a collaboration between Adam and I (he went to the florist and picked out a bunch of pretty pink blooms and I arranged them!).

Pregnancy Update | First Trimester

Once you’ve been pregnant with your first baby, you might be tempted to think I’ve done this before… I know what to expect! but in my case, that couldn’t be further from the truth. This pregnancy is already off to a much different start, so like last time, I thought I’d share some of the first trimester symptoms I’ve had and how I’ve dealt with them.

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Morning Sickness is something I didn’t deal with much with Felix. I got sick twice my entire pregnancy. This time, I’ve lost count. Usually it’s over and done with quickly and lasted until 14 weeks. It helps to keep something in my stomach as much as possible, like crackers or cheese sticks. Sometimes nothing helps though! 

Food Aversions haven’t been nearly as bad as the first time around, but the one thing I couldn’t stomach for the first trimester was meat! With a plant based diet (in addition to dairy) and the morning sickness, I actually lost 3 pounds which I didn’t recover until 16 weeks.

Slowed Digestion hits me daily each afternoon with what I can best describe as a sour stomach. It feels like food just. sits. there…. no matter how much water I drink or fiber I eat, it’s just sllllooooowwww.

Anxiety and Moodiness have been the most dramatic and difficult aspects to deal with for this pregnancy. This time around, I had a suspicion I was pregnant a week before my missed period/pregnancy test because I was so angry for no good reason! 

As I’ve mentioned before, I started a prescription medication after I was diagnosed with postpartum depression after Felix was born and continued to take it for a little more than a year. Once I had stopped breast feeding and my hormone levels adjusted, I slowly stopped taking it. All in all, I felt really even keeled and back to my normal self. Then the roller coaster of pregnancy hormones kicked in and I found myself struggling a lot in the first 6 or so weeks. I had huge fears about the viability of this pregnancy, even after hearing a heartbeat and having hormone levels checked (and checked again). My first pregnancy was a missed miscarriage that I learned of at 8 weeks and I was terrified of it happening again. Basically - I was a huge mess. 

I discussed options with my doctor. I really didn’t want to take any medications while pregnant and we decided to wait things out to see if they improved with time. What helped me a lot was knowing once you hear a heartbeat, your chances of a healthy pregnancy jump way way up (to 95%+!)  Luckily I am feeling so much better in that department and feel a lot more connected and confident about this pregnancy.  

Pelvic Pain I can’t believe it’s happening so soon, but I can already feel the relaxin in my body loosening up my pelvis, especially if I’ve been active. Last pregnancy it was so painful I could barely walk and I hope that doesn’t happen this time around. I have some exercises I do each night to help. I really do want these hips to widen up because I fear my C-section last time might have had something to do with the size of my pelvis plus a big baby. More on this another time! 

My round ligament pain started pretty early on too. It’s like a sharp pull along your bikini line more or less. I get mine when I stand up quickly (like to the demands of a toddler who NEEDS milk or goldfish).

Extreme Fatigue has been rough on all of us. It’s a lot harder to get rest when you’re either up with a toddler all night or chasing him all day. We’ve decided to let Felix watch a few movies/TV shows during the day so I can get some sleep (he cozies up with me on the couch as a doze off). I read recently that a pregnant body at rest uses 24% energy versus a non pregnant body which is more like 7-8%… which totally explains why I can’t quite do as much as before. I’ve had a lot of personal guilt about my lack of productivity, but as my husband reminds me, I’m doing a BIG job right now. 

Compromised Immune System I feel like I catch just about every virus that crosses my path and I’ve had multiple colds, sore throats and a gross case of a double bacterial conjunctivitis since being pregnant. I normally don’t get sick very often, so on top of everything else, this has really slowed me down! 

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This pregnancy also seems to be going so much faster than the first time around! I’m almost halfway through! I occasionally check a pregnancy app to see how big the baby is, but I haven’t read anything else and am trusting my body a lot more. I felt kicks last week and usually get them after eating something delicious (green curry or ice cream!) or when I’m really happy (like at a wedding this weekend). It feels so cool. I’m so grateful to be adding to our happy family and for my second trimester relief! 

You can read about my pregnancy with Felix here (first trimester, half way point, second trimester, third trimester and birth story)

Our Birth Story

Here’s the story of how Felix Alexander Quirk came into the world…

On the morning of my due date, I woke up around 6:30am feeling something a little different from the Braxton Hicks contractions I’d felt in the weeks prior. I was hoping I’d go into labor on a Saturday so I could go through the early stages doing my favorite things - going out to breakfast, checking out the farmer’s market and arranging flowers. I decided to go on a walk to see if they would subside and tried not to get my hopes up too much. I’d felt short waves of contractions in the weeks prior and thinking this could be it over and over was emotionally exhausting! It was raining that morning and my rain coat wouldn’t stay velcro’d over my bump. I walked about a half mile up and down the road before deciding we were in business!

I woke up my husband and we went to our favorite greasy diner for breakfast - I knew I’d want some fuel for the day ahead. Since the weather was crummy, we skipped the market and went to the grocery instead for some last minute hospital stuff - bottled water, hard candies and a bouquet of flowers. I don’t know why that was such a priority to me, but I thought coming home to a sunny bouquet would be nice. I also wanted to get my house clean because I hate a mess, especially when being away for a while and coming back home.

We were kinda sorta timing things and thought to call our doula when we got home, probably around 9:30 or 10. Once she arrived, we walked down the block togeher then I moved to the tub and started really having good, strong contractions. Adam helped me so much during this time too. My favorite way to get through them was to bury my face into his chest and do a deep moan. He was wearing a heathered green tee shirt. Just thinking about it now makes me so happy. He was such a comforting presence that day. It’s weird but I felt the majority of my pain in my hip flexors - not in my back or belly. It was all about the hips (something I have a little trouble with at the gym - I hold all of my tightness there!)

Laboring at home was good. Then all of a sudden I broke down into tears. Amy thought this was a good sign and that it was time to call the midwife and get to the hospital (which was just a few blocks from our house). We went straight to Labor and Delivery and they admitted me to a room and got started on all the stuff they have to do before they’ll let you do your thing. I didn’t want a nurse to check me and waited for Donna, my amazing midwife to come in. I was 4.5 cm dialated and kept making great progress. I moved around a lot, initially wearing my own clothes and got into the bathtub about 4-5 times. Modesty flies out the window when you’re in labor, so for the second half I was a naked lady running around the room. 

Adam had me pose for “one last pregnant What I Wore photo” at the hospital

At around 6 cm, my water broke and it was the coolest thing I’ve ever felt. I loved it. Things sped up from there and the nurse said we’d have a baby by dinner time. We were all pumped things were going so well!

One of the things I visualized while the contractions came on were Tetris blocks - the tall, four square boxes kind in a bright shade of orange. I didn’t plan this - it’s just what came to mind!  I imagined them falling into place and making a pyramid shape as the contraction reached a peak and then getting shorter as it faded away. I just kept seeing orange blocks for the majority of my labor! It felt good to visualize something while each contraction rolled in and out. 

It must have been around 8 or 8:30 when I got the all clear to push and I loved the feeling. My midwife said I was a great pusher and the baby kept coming down, down, down… and then stopped. I pushed for three and a half hours - in bed, in the tub, over the toilet - and Felix just wouldn’t make it past a certain point. Somewhere around 11pm, I heard my midwife whisper epidural from the other room and I shouted YES from the bathroom. She couldn’t believe I could hear her from so far away. I needed a rest and a chance for my body to work the baby down a little more after being in labor for so long.  I wanted a natural birth, but had told myself ahead of time if my care provider (who specializes in natural birth) suggested an epidural, that I would do it.  At a little after midnight, I got the epidural and all of the stuff that goes with it and that was probably the second best feeling I’ve ever had after the water breaking.This allowed me a brief rest as well as my doula, midwife and husband. They were all working hard too!

Around 4am, I wanted to get the show on the road and meet my baby, so we started pushing again. We’d count to ten and I’d get the WORST headache by the end of each push. Felix still wouldn’t budge, so they called in my OB for a second opinion. At that time we started seeing a little meconium in the amniotic fluid, which is a sign the baby is in distress (his heart rate was also being monitored and at a safe level). My doctor said we could do forcepts or cesarean and gave me and Adam time to think about it. If we tried for a vaginal birth and it didn’t progress, it would be an emergency c-section or we could just skip that part and go to the cesarean. This was another part of my plan. I did NOT want a c-section unless the doctor suggested it. He has an awesome reputation for doing anything he can to avoid cesareans, so I knew if he brought it up, he meant it was the only option.  

I was ready to have my baby.

Felix was born via cesaran birth at 6:28am, August 31, 2014. He weighed 8 pounds, 10 ounces and was 21 inches long. They told me in advance he wouldn’t cry and they didn’t want him to until they made sure his lungs were cleared. Actually getting him out took quiet a while because he was so far down into the birth canal (we could see all that hair when I was pushing!) and his head was transverse, or sideways, so in hindsight we saw that the c-section was indeed very necessary.

Taking after his mama and papa at birth, Felix was born with a full head of hair.

A lot of people tell c-section moms “at least you have a healthy baby” and I am so grateful for that. Yet, I also felt cheated in a way. I wanted that rush of hormones you get during a vaginal birth that help you instantly bond with your new baby. I wanted breastfeeding to happen a little more naturally (c-section moms sometimes have a delay in their milk coming in). It just felt a little unfair that I prepared so much and labored so long. I felt like a quitter. it’s something I’m going to work through at my own pace. During feedings in the middle of the night those first few weeks, I replayed August 30th and 31st over and over again in my mind. If I have one regret is that I’ve beat myself up over it so much. 

EDIT: If you’ve followed my pregnancy posts, you probably saw that I was very much influenced by the work of natural birth supporters, specifically midwife Ina May Gaskin. I felt strong and prepared going into birth, not afraid of the pain and ready to reap the extra “rewards” of birthing naturally. And then I had my cesarean. I remember once thinking afterwards - I’ve failed Ina May. Well, update to that story. Reader Kait just sent me this podcast and all I have to say is wow. That really helped. (And another thing that’s helped are the many mothers who’ve shared their own experiences with me over instagram and facebook. Thank you!) 

In the end, I did get a lot of the natural birth experience. I labored for 18 hours, including 4 hours of pushing before our path took a new direction. I do have a healthy child. A little boy we named Felix, which means happiness. And the day I met him was the happiest day in my life.